I need to tip my cap to Vince Offer. The rising-star TV pitchman’s abnormally, creepily intriguing conveyance has unquestionably brought a larger number of people than would have suspected themselves powerless to such things unsafely near grabbing the telephone to state, “wow, I truly need a Shamwow in my life.” The man might be a peddler, however he’s a damn decent one. No big surprise Billy Mays himself is feeling the weight.
However, I’m not remotely enticed to purchase Offer’s most recent item, the Slap Chop. For a certain something, I’ve possessed nearly a similar apparatus for around ten years (all the more explicitly, the one he drastically hurls behind him in an ideal curve into the sink as a result of the Slap Chop’s more noteworthy simplicity of cleaning, which is the main distinction); he’s not actually uncovering another innovation to the world. However, the business is a jewel of jamboree barker exaggeration and hypnotizing, wallet-slackening wit.
Plainly, whoever was in charge of the duplicate – regardless of whether it was some unremarkable promotion executives in an office some place or, as no doubt, Offer himself simply riffing off the highest point of his head – knew precisely what they were doing. No one as frattish as Offer reports “You’re going to cherish my nuts” or “We’re going to make America thin again each slap in turn” without incongruity, and his explanation that “You’re going to have an energizing life presently” (because of your newly discovered capacity to slash up eggs, pickle, green onion and ham all simultaneously) is pretentious to such an extent that obviously he has no dreams that you’re purchasing his spiel. (Which, amusingly enough, is actually why it works.)